I was in Sunday School the other day and the lesson was on feeling Heavenly Father's love through His creations and the talk turned to children. I have to admit, I struggle putting my love for Rhys into words. I love the knowledge that it's all worth it. Cuddling with my little boy after a hard day and watching him drift off to sleep while I sing him lullabies, feeling my heart grow and grow until it leaks out of my eyes. What can I say to myself that expresses it all?
A father in our class put it so accurately and beautifully, I knew it was exactly how I feel all the time, even when I'm discouraged. He said that he feels Heavenly Father's love when he holds his own son. He said that he expected the wonder and delight to wear off after a few months, but he still marvels over his child. I feel the same way. Every time I hold Rhys I can't stop kissing his little rosy cheeks, or holding him to me as close as I can without squishing him. That is a manifestation of the wonder and love I feel for my little boy and I can't believe that it will continue to grow.
I guess my point is that whenever you feel discouraged in motherhood, just give your baby kisses all over. Kisses heal everything after all.
I read this as I was rocking my little guy to sleep. Finally. After an hour and a half. Sometimes it's rough. But he's asleep now and so squishy and perfect and it makes me feel bad for eve being overwhelmed or frustrated with his sleep-defying antics. It really is true though. All the things you said. Especially the part about loving them so much it comes out yours eyes. I teared up reading that because is exactly how I feel. These little dudes are tough work. Being a mom is soul stretching and exhausting at times. But it really is the most beautiful part of life.. Watching a tiny, perfect human being grow in front of your eyes.
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